Bastille Cafe & Bar, Ballard, Seattle

Bastille Cafe and Bar has been on the Snob radar for several years now.  Unfortunately, the two attempted visits were unsuccessful due to the throngs of people crowding the doorsteps.  This snob and her spouse simply do not tolerate overly-populated restaurants.  There are way too many amazing hole-in-the-wall eateries to justify waiting for what will most likely be an over-crowded experience.  No restaurant does well when busy, so we decided just to wait a few years.  In addition to the crowd-aversion, several of our friends had  less than stellar experiences there...so we put it on the back burner.

I am happy to report that it was WELL WORTH THE WAIT.

The years could have worked against Bastille.  The build-up and expectation is one of the worst things for any artistic endeavor and restaurants are no exception.

It happened just as any good restaurant experience should - with no hype and in total spontaneity.  It was a random Monday night when I picked up my husband from his work in Fremont.  I suggested we go to dinner and a movie nearby and when the 30-min "where do you want to go" black-hole question threatened to suck us in, I promptly suggested Bastille, even though I have a strong "no-Monday" opinion about eating out (if the establishment is open at all, the wait staff is usually secondary because all the primary staff is recovering from the weekend).  I had my doubts.

FOOD

I'll just say it.  There's no way around it.

Bastille has the best hamburger I've tasted in Seattle.

Yes. 

 I went to a great french bistro with so many distinctly french options on the menu (confession: I wasn't expecting the cuisine to be so authentic) and I ordered the hamburger. 

 Least you begin to judge, the hamburger is actually quite the french delicacy (Bifteck Hache a la Lyonnaise -ground beef with onion and herbs) AND the bartender recommended it over the french onion soup and the croque madame.  He wasn't kidding. It was the perfect size, small but not pretentiously-small, cooked to perfection, drizzled with harissa aioli, topped with the brightest arugula, and smothered in pickled onions.  I am getting all emotional just thinking about it.

DRINKS

My husband performed his whiskey test with the bartender which is to say he told him several ingredients he likes in cocktails (almost always rye whiskey and some sort of digestive/vermouth), and told the keep to surprise him.  Oh, fellow drinkers, this can go so terribly wrong. To our delight, it didn't.  Joel ordered the house-made rabbit pâté, which came with violet mustard and pickled young fennel. and swooned over it the entire time. 

Overall we were excited about how impressed we were.  

There is simply nothing worse than spending money on a less-than-fabulous meal out.

(Which reminds me.  Don't eat in Port Angeles, Wa. Ever.)

Bottom Line

"Off with their heads!" but let them eat cake at Bastille first.

le secret snob

Cafe Presse, Capitol Hill, Seattle

If I lived back on Capitol Hill, I doubt I would go anywhere else for weekend breakfast than Cafe Presse.  Unfortunately for me, many other diners feel this way.  Cafe Presse does really well handling this crowd, however.  I never have waited longer than 15 minutes and since it's prime people watching (though somewhat lacking in variety - it IS Capitol Hill after all - standard uniform of arm sleeves, skinny jeans, TOMS, and greasy-chic hair), it's never felt like too tedious a wait.  Not to mention their AWESOME magazine rack in the front really helps you swallow the wait time.

I have never been for anything other than breakfast, but I've always loved what I ordered.  I typically stick with the eggs broiled with ham and Gruyère, but have occasionally ordered the croque madame.  Joel recently tried some interesting trout dish  that was a bit off-putting at first, but what ended up being delicious after a few bites).  

Bloody Mary - num.

Coffee - num.

Baguette and jams - num.

It's perfect food snobbery at its non-pretentious finest.

Bottom Line

Eat here every day, for every meal, si possible.

The Secret Snob

Joule, Wallingford, Seattle

First of all, I would like to apologize for my snobbish absence. Rest assured that it is not for lack of restaurants to try, not for Seattle's falling into the ocean, nor lack of places tried in the last four months. Nay, the reason for my silence I shall blame entirely upon the country. The mister and I moved from the walking-culture delights of Capitol Hill to Hobart.

That's right.
Hobart.


Such a horrible name.

There is nothing withing walking distance save millions of trees, a few hundred deer, and maybe a dozen elk. This being the case, our local places now consist of diners and dives I could never deign to review...but the mister and I still manage to get into the city about once a week or twice a month for some tasty food and beverage consumption. I will catch you up on those places post haste...however, today I am still in food bliss from the fabulous meal we had last night at Joule.

My friend recommended this as her personal favorite restaurant, so the mister donned his cap and I my gloves, and we set out to Wallingford.

The restaurant stars must have aligned for us because we got an immediate parking spot right out front, immediately sat despite arriving 30 before our reservation, and everything we tasted made the country-bumpkin scales drop from our eyes. As if being back in Seattle wasn't enough euphoria...

I have only two complaints which I will get out of the way. The restaurant is quite frigid; I suggest you belly up to the counter so you get the benefit of the stoves to keep you warm. Also, this place (like so many others we have visited, and perhaps our most common complaint) is very loud and very small...with no noise barriers. If we had sat across from each other, at a table we would have been shouting the entire time (I cannot imagine having a good time here with a group). Since we were cuddled up side by side, we were able to both flirt and speak more easily.

Now on to the food.
Holy God.

So this place is advertised as Korean-French-American cuisine. I had no idea what to expect, but as we feasted our eyes on the menu while sipping our first cocktails, I saw just the most interesting combinations. For our first course, we decided on Zucchini Basil Pancakes with shrimp and soy mustard sauce as well as the "Mac and Cheese" made with speatzel and truffle oil. Both of these were so incredibly flavorful - we were swooning all over each bite.

After ordering two glasses of the delicious Barbara, the mister settled on the Lamb Sirloin with castelvetrano olives and tamarind yogurt for his entree while I chose the Dungeoness Crab Stuffed Cannelloni with mint sauce. I do not consider myself an exhibitionist, but this dish made me so audibly pleased that I knew I was making a fool of myself to the stool-sitter next to me, but I was in such nirvana that I didn't care. And that, folks, is one fine entree. As a side, the mister ordered a little kimchi of beef tongue on the side, which was also really tender, spicy, and delicious.

After our meal, it felt foolish to not try at least one dessert. I chose the chocolate torte with blood orange salad, and it was lovely...but nothing terribly memorable. The french press that accompanied it was vastly more delightful.

The service was warm and efficient, the manager (who I am guessing is also the owner/head chef) spoke to us several times over his work, and we felt so ridiculously good when we left. So much so that we headed to the newest speakeasy on Capitol Hill, Still Liquor...which we regretted...but more on that place in the next review.

Joule was a bit on the expensive side, but nothing we felt wasn't worth every morsel. I wouldn't necessarily go there for an anniversary or something eventful, but I would go there for no reason at all, over and over again. The mister and I toasted to exactly that...to a lovely meal for no reason at all.

Bottom Line
By far the best restaurant experience I've had in the last year.
GO.

LARK, Seattle

You know, the mister and I really (LIKE REALLY) wanted to enjoy LARK. We had heard quite a bit about it and walked all the way over there (okay, it's only 1 mile, but when is the last time you walked a mile for a fine dining experience), but we left feeling like we just shelled out a small fortune for really "meh" food.

Reasons to go to LARK:

1. AHHMMAAZING wait staff. They were so incredibly warm, welcoming, friendly, and knowledgeable. I mean we show up without reservations at 7:30 on a Saturday night - which would give ANY concierge a reason to be cranky with us, but instead we were greeted immediately and assured that we would have a table within 20 minutes...oh, and did we want to go next door to LICOROUS and have a cocktail? They would call them and let us know when our table was ready. And truly, one of the things I love about dining in Seattle is that no dining is off limits, no place too elite. Once we had settled at our table, our delightful server spent plenty of time with us explaining the menu (because it needs it, sadly) and helping us chose a bottle of wine (which was not good, but whose fault is that really?). Perfect score for service.
   
   
   
2. The ambiance. Truly, it's so quaint in that place. I told the mister that it reminded me of this hole-in-the-wall bistro in Paris. Very simple decor, but intentional and perfectly executed. I felt at home and at ease.

Reasons not to go to LARK:

1. The food. The mister and I kept looking at each other with wide eyes ,"This is good, RIGHT?" and coming up short. We ordered a cheese plate, it was good, but it's hard to fuck up cheese. Then we ordered...hmm. I am honestly sitting here trying to grasp what it is we decided on because the menu was JUST THAT FRENCH.
   
   
   
   Side note here: We are no stranger to French cuisine, culture, or language. Two French foodies should easily be able to decipher a menu. Either we were exhausted or took a stupid pill, but we honestly had no idea what we were ordering. And that's where it's important to include descriptions of food on your menu. This seems like a silly (or I daresay, pretentious) oversight.
   
   
   So whatever it was we ordered...wait, I JUST REMEMBERED. We had some duck dish. It was okay. We had some sort of tomato salad, of which the heirlooms were the star of the entire night. We tried a whitefish special, which was bland and four bites total at best.
   
   
2. Price.
   Mediocre Wine : $40
   Cheese plate: $12
   Fish: $16
   Duck: $18
   Steamed Mushrooms : $10
   Tomato Salad: $10
   Grand Total: Somewhere around $120-$140 including tip.
   
   
   
   Side note here about the Snob's guide to pricing: I AM NOT CHEAP. I have NO problem spending small fortunes on dining experiences. But I do expect that if I have paid over $100 for two people that I would leave the establishment on a fluffy cloud of culinary bliss.

Bottom Line
Either we ordered all the wrong things, or LARK is simply larking about.

Bad, I know.