Bastille Cafe & Bar, Ballard, Seattle

Bastille Cafe and Bar has been on the Snob radar for several years now.  Unfortunately, the two attempted visits were unsuccessful due to the throngs of people crowding the doorsteps.  This snob and her spouse simply do not tolerate overly-populated restaurants.  There are way too many amazing hole-in-the-wall eateries to justify waiting for what will most likely be an over-crowded experience.  No restaurant does well when busy, so we decided just to wait a few years.  In addition to the crowd-aversion, several of our friends had  less than stellar experiences there...so we put it on the back burner.

I am happy to report that it was WELL WORTH THE WAIT.

The years could have worked against Bastille.  The build-up and expectation is one of the worst things for any artistic endeavor and restaurants are no exception.

It happened just as any good restaurant experience should - with no hype and in total spontaneity.  It was a random Monday night when I picked up my husband from his work in Fremont.  I suggested we go to dinner and a movie nearby and when the 30-min "where do you want to go" black-hole question threatened to suck us in, I promptly suggested Bastille, even though I have a strong "no-Monday" opinion about eating out (if the establishment is open at all, the wait staff is usually secondary because all the primary staff is recovering from the weekend).  I had my doubts.

FOOD

I'll just say it.  There's no way around it.

Bastille has the best hamburger I've tasted in Seattle.

Yes. 

 I went to a great french bistro with so many distinctly french options on the menu (confession: I wasn't expecting the cuisine to be so authentic) and I ordered the hamburger. 

 Least you begin to judge, the hamburger is actually quite the french delicacy (Bifteck Hache a la Lyonnaise -ground beef with onion and herbs) AND the bartender recommended it over the french onion soup and the croque madame.  He wasn't kidding. It was the perfect size, small but not pretentiously-small, cooked to perfection, drizzled with harissa aioli, topped with the brightest arugula, and smothered in pickled onions.  I am getting all emotional just thinking about it.

DRINKS

My husband performed his whiskey test with the bartender which is to say he told him several ingredients he likes in cocktails (almost always rye whiskey and some sort of digestive/vermouth), and told the keep to surprise him.  Oh, fellow drinkers, this can go so terribly wrong. To our delight, it didn't.  Joel ordered the house-made rabbit pâté, which came with violet mustard and pickled young fennel. and swooned over it the entire time. 

Overall we were excited about how impressed we were.  

There is simply nothing worse than spending money on a less-than-fabulous meal out.

(Which reminds me.  Don't eat in Port Angeles, Wa. Ever.)

Bottom Line

"Off with their heads!" but let them eat cake at Bastille first.

le secret snob

The Brave Horse Tavern, SLU, Seattle

The Brave Horse Tavern, aka Tom Douglas's culinary delights meets tasty brew and wine on cask, is nestled all hipster-like in the "up-and-oops-I-already-came" South Lake Union (SLU).  Though the area is not easy to get to, the parking is atrocious, and is a soulless ghost town after 9pm (Bellevue, anyone?), somehow people are still flocking to SLU for various restaurants and coffee shops.  Hell, even I go there occasionally- and I consider myself impervious to trends.

Because I am delusional.
It's my right, as a snob.

Why my husband gathered a group of 12 people to try out The Brave Horse on Cinco de Mayo is beyond me, but despite the tedious crowds - we had a great time.  

Pros

I liked the European-style seating - it seems to force interaction, which is truly what a tavern is all about.  The shuffleboard tables were an unexpected bonus (and a clever marketing idea to keep people around and drinking).  Though the outing was just to drink and nibble, the food we did have was very good.  My husband had a homemade pretzel with a variety of spreads: white cheddar and pimento spread, sour cream and crispy onion spread, and smoked peanut butter and bacon spread - all delicious!  I may have indulged in a root beer float (I'm a sucker for white-trash foods - my snob alter-ego sticks her nose up at this, so don't tell her I told you), which was very good as well.   The cocktails were decent, the home brew (Brave Horse Pale Ale) was good, and the building is pretty amazing.

Cons

Honestly, the crowd was just a bit too downtown for my taste.  Everyone kept looking around for something to start happening and although I dislike bars that are too cool, this place simply felt not happening enough.  Even with droves of people, it felt dead somehow.  If I could see past the sea of untucked dress-shirts and loosed ties, I might feel more at home.  Otherwise, I will probably leave the downtowners to their "hipster" pub.  I guess even boring people need a place to unwind.

Also, I am kind of over Tom Douglas.  

Sorry, Tom.

Bottom Line

Glad to have been, but this snob certainly won't go out of her way to return.

Eat, drink, and be merry snobs,

S.S.

Cantinetta, Wallingford, Seattle

That there, food lovers and boozers alike, that is what I like to refer to as 

CULINARY PERFECTION

otherwise known as Cantinetta's Grapefruit and Avocado Salad.

As I gushed to all of my peoples about this surprising combination, their reactions educated me to realize the common use of citrus/avocado in Mediterranean/French cuisine.  There's nothing quite like, "yeah, I've heard of that" to take the wind out of your culinary sails. Thanks a lot for your cultured selves, friends.

All novelty aside, this dish is really rather unique in flavor.  The Kalamata olives atop add the best saltiness to that sweet avocado and citrus.  

My husband and I went back twice, both unwilling to admit that it was almost  entirely to order this salad again.  In fact, we became a bit obsessed and tried to recreate it at home. It was not nearly as good, and this is certainly a testament to Cantinetta.  The ingredients were PERFECTLY ripe and fresh (and local - well, sans the avocado - but that's just Seattle for you.  While I am 100% behind buying local, an avocado-less existence is just too much for this California-born to handle).

As to the entirety of the restaurant, I shall now gush further.

Cantinetta is a wonderfully quaint and small Italian restaurant just off Wallingford Ave.  I love that it's tucked into a neighborhood - and if you weren't looking, you would completely miss it.  

Why do I love this? 

 I love this because I am a snob and snobs love restaurants that are impossible to find.

The first time we went, we arrived at opening hour - 5:00pm and I tell you, it's the best time to go.  No one is there, the place is quiet, and the service impeccable.  It starts to liven up around 6:00pm, just about the time we finished.  

The first test was upon us.  My husband asked the waiter for a Negroni.  The server promptly told us they didn't have any Rye (which, although looks like a downside was actually a plus.  It meant she KNEW what was IN a Negroni...rare to come by in Wallingford).  He ordered some other whiskey drink and it came back perfectly made.  

The server then gave us her recommendations from the menu and we ordered the salad mentioned above, the homemade gnocchi, and a mushroom pasta dish topped with oxtail.  Oh dear lords of cuisine.  Everything was suspiciously, seductively good.  Looking back, I'm dubious of stupendous-ness.

I think I must needs return to confirm because I am just that kind of altruistic reviewer.
You're welcome.

S.S.

Cafe Presse, Capitol Hill, Seattle

If I lived back on Capitol Hill, I doubt I would go anywhere else for weekend breakfast than Cafe Presse.  Unfortunately for me, many other diners feel this way.  Cafe Presse does really well handling this crowd, however.  I never have waited longer than 15 minutes and since it's prime people watching (though somewhat lacking in variety - it IS Capitol Hill after all - standard uniform of arm sleeves, skinny jeans, TOMS, and greasy-chic hair), it's never felt like too tedious a wait.  Not to mention their AWESOME magazine rack in the front really helps you swallow the wait time.

I have never been for anything other than breakfast, but I've always loved what I ordered.  I typically stick with the eggs broiled with ham and Gruyère, but have occasionally ordered the croque madame.  Joel recently tried some interesting trout dish  that was a bit off-putting at first, but what ended up being delicious after a few bites).  

Bloody Mary - num.

Coffee - num.

Baguette and jams - num.

It's perfect food snobbery at its non-pretentious finest.

Bottom Line

Eat here every day, for every meal, si possible.

The Secret Snob

Fresh Bistro, West Seattle

My girlfriend and I met at The Fresh Bistro for lunch one lazy Tuesday afternoon (she was celebrating her day off; I was celebrating my life off).   I appreciated quite a few things about the place:

1. Parking.  Thank god.  Since I am no longer a city-dweller, this is suddenly important to me again.
2. Aesthetic.  It's the perfect lunch spot with it's bright white dinner ware, bamboo-style tables, and clean feel (I LOVE the bathroom sinks).
3. My quinoa cake!  Whoa...it was SO DELICIOUS.  
4. It's dedicated to using fresh ingredients from local farmers.

The service and prices were nothing to rave about...but if I lived in West Seattle, I would probably frequent this place often for lunch dates, brunches, and lazy afternoon white wine.

Bottom Line

A nice neighborhood spot, but nothing to cross the bridge for.

Still Liquor, Capitol Hill, Seattle

The mister and I sauntered into this place at 11:30pm on a Saturday night.

This was our first mistake.

The thing is, this place has remarkable potential in both aesthetic and product.  Unfortunately, after scanning the room and seeing 20 somethings with much more pressing needs than a tasty old cocktail in a quite dive, we knew we were out of place.  But we simply couldn't believe it.  I have never wanted to like a place more...it has all the right elements of the (perhaps now overdone?) speakeasy.

• Impossible signage?  Check.
• Bare-bones decor?  Check.
• Seedy lighting? Check.
• Barkeep with slicked hair and kerchief in his Levis?  Check.

But alas, what was missing was perhaps the most important part of a preprohibition hide-out.  THE COCKTAILS.  Since it was late, I was in the mood for a night cap and asked the waitress (who didn't great us for 10 minutes) about their scotch, to which she replied that she wasn't aware of their scotch list.  Not acceptable.  There is a really precarious time for a drinker...that time where she is waiting for the first cocktail.  Once that first one is in her hand, there is a wellspring of patience from which she can draw to wait for the second, or the third, or the check.  This is basic service knowledge to my mind.  In addition, if a place is selling a theme (like speakeasy or french bistro), the service and selection are the first things that should reflect the theme, with the building and decor following behind.  Still Liquor got this equation backward.

However, Still Liquor has only JUST opened, like one week ago.  I was not in the mood to be cranky about it, so I let it go and ordered Oban.  Unfortunately, the mister ordered one of their signature cocktails and though it wasn't bad, it certainly wasn't worthy of drinks we've tasted oh HERE or say HERE.

Quite promptly, the place filled with more and more kids.  Seriously, I am only 31, and I have never felt older, and this almost never happens on Capitol Hill.  I felt like I had wandered into the lusty late-night Belltown.  We got to the point where we couldn't hear each other, couldn't concentrate for continued annoyance at the meet and greet happening, and couldn't get our cocktail waitress's attention to pay our bill.  I hate to say it, but this place reminded me of the Bauhaus for booze.   Therefore, if you people need to take over yet another place for your "to see and be seen" shenanigans, I suppose Still Liquor is totally up for grabs.

The potential is really quite tangible, and I am guessing that the more we go back on Wednesday nights and the longer they are in business, the better it will be...but I will not be giving them that second chance any time soon.

Bottom Line

Let Still Liquor alone for now and spend your time
basking in the beauty of the Sun instead.

Joule, Wallingford, Seattle

First of all, I would like to apologize for my snobbish absence. Rest assured that it is not for lack of restaurants to try, not for Seattle's falling into the ocean, nor lack of places tried in the last four months. Nay, the reason for my silence I shall blame entirely upon the country. The mister and I moved from the walking-culture delights of Capitol Hill to Hobart.

That's right.
Hobart.


Such a horrible name.

There is nothing withing walking distance save millions of trees, a few hundred deer, and maybe a dozen elk. This being the case, our local places now consist of diners and dives I could never deign to review...but the mister and I still manage to get into the city about once a week or twice a month for some tasty food and beverage consumption. I will catch you up on those places post haste...however, today I am still in food bliss from the fabulous meal we had last night at Joule.

My friend recommended this as her personal favorite restaurant, so the mister donned his cap and I my gloves, and we set out to Wallingford.

The restaurant stars must have aligned for us because we got an immediate parking spot right out front, immediately sat despite arriving 30 before our reservation, and everything we tasted made the country-bumpkin scales drop from our eyes. As if being back in Seattle wasn't enough euphoria...

I have only two complaints which I will get out of the way. The restaurant is quite frigid; I suggest you belly up to the counter so you get the benefit of the stoves to keep you warm. Also, this place (like so many others we have visited, and perhaps our most common complaint) is very loud and very small...with no noise barriers. If we had sat across from each other, at a table we would have been shouting the entire time (I cannot imagine having a good time here with a group). Since we were cuddled up side by side, we were able to both flirt and speak more easily.

Now on to the food.
Holy God.

So this place is advertised as Korean-French-American cuisine. I had no idea what to expect, but as we feasted our eyes on the menu while sipping our first cocktails, I saw just the most interesting combinations. For our first course, we decided on Zucchini Basil Pancakes with shrimp and soy mustard sauce as well as the "Mac and Cheese" made with speatzel and truffle oil. Both of these were so incredibly flavorful - we were swooning all over each bite.

After ordering two glasses of the delicious Barbara, the mister settled on the Lamb Sirloin with castelvetrano olives and tamarind yogurt for his entree while I chose the Dungeoness Crab Stuffed Cannelloni with mint sauce. I do not consider myself an exhibitionist, but this dish made me so audibly pleased that I knew I was making a fool of myself to the stool-sitter next to me, but I was in such nirvana that I didn't care. And that, folks, is one fine entree. As a side, the mister ordered a little kimchi of beef tongue on the side, which was also really tender, spicy, and delicious.

After our meal, it felt foolish to not try at least one dessert. I chose the chocolate torte with blood orange salad, and it was lovely...but nothing terribly memorable. The french press that accompanied it was vastly more delightful.

The service was warm and efficient, the manager (who I am guessing is also the owner/head chef) spoke to us several times over his work, and we felt so ridiculously good when we left. So much so that we headed to the newest speakeasy on Capitol Hill, Still Liquor...which we regretted...but more on that place in the next review.

Joule was a bit on the expensive side, but nothing we felt wasn't worth every morsel. I wouldn't necessarily go there for an anniversary or something eventful, but I would go there for no reason at all, over and over again. The mister and I toasted to exactly that...to a lovely meal for no reason at all.

Bottom Line
By far the best restaurant experience I've had in the last year.
GO.